Con:Getting home at 10.30pm

Pro: Getting treated to pizza, and feeling utterly justified in ordering more once you’re home

Con: Slightly achey back

Pro: Having an excuse to nag boyfriend for theraputic massages at the weekend

Con: Missing the live action gossip as the nutter in 1/1 gets arrested

Pro: Getting the gossip from the quite awesome night assistant in the 24 hour shop under your flat

Con: When your buzzer goes, not being sure if it’s pizza or polis

Pro: Coining the phrase ‘pizza or polis’

However, the overall pro has to be the near-end of a MASSSIVE project, and hopefully a wee £50 bonus from some grateful management.

But yeah, the guy in 1/1. It started with dog piss in the close (or at least, I hope it was dog piss). It progressed to him throwing his stereo out of the window, and then apparently jumping out of it himself and running off down the street when the polis came to ‘see if he was alright’. Two weeks, a suspiciously new (and unpainted) front door and an offensively twee doormat bearing the legend ‘WIPE YOUR PAWS’ later, and the saga seems to have culminated with ‘that mad baldy guy getting pure huckled intae a polis van. He wiz shouting at a lassie in the flat that he wiz gauny slit her throat and aw that’. This was followed by the entertaining story of how  the same gent, laden with shopping, demanded the use of the 24 hour shop’s toilet, as he was ‘burstin’ for a pish’. Note that said shop is RIGHT NEXT to our front door. All this combined with the new plasterwork in the close that looks like Stevie Wonder did it, and the fact that my immediate neighbour’s door is being held shut by wooden blocks nailed to it, it’s like living in the fuckng Ghetto.  I own a Bodum kettle, for crying out loud!