They say that the five stages of redundancy* are 1/Shock and denial 2/Anger 3/Bargaining 4/Depression and 5/Acceptance. They missed out 6/Tidying and 7/Tedious maths.
I’ll address 7/ first. I’ve been doing all manner of maths that frankly our HR department should be doing, because they are useless. So useless that they don’t even call themselves HR, but ‘Employee Services’. There’s little in the way of service being provided though. The standard response to any query seems to be to copy you in as they forward your email to yet another clueless admin. The result of this electronic ping-pong is that I know I’m being made redundant in two days, but not how much pay in lieu of notice I’m receiving nor when I’ll receive it. I have a rough idea, but the draft redundancy schedule I’ve been provided has no breakdown, obscure holiday entitlement calculations, no end of notice date and no deductions for tax and NI. This has led to be discovering that there are a wealth of handy calculators online for trying to work out such things - it’s a pity that our Employee Services bunch are clearly strangers to Google.
As for 6/, today I have discovered the joys of trying to pack six years of your working life into one suitcase. I’m surprised that in this digital age, I still have a suitcase full of paper AND 3.7GB of files to take into the next life. You’d think a modern go-getting designer could just pack up their typefaces and go, but I apparently can’t do without the paper samples, the branding guidebooks and of course the finished products, dozens of which got slung into the suitcase with wild abandon (it should be worth noting that I’ve saved nothing in the way of payslips or appraisal info.) Realistically, I don’t know what I’m thinking I’ll do with all this stuff. I just know I’m not ready to let it go yet.
So I’ve handed over my projects. I’ve taken the comedy decorations off my cubical. I’ve scrubbed the fonts folder. I’ve said goodbyes, and now it’s just the official business of being made redundant, and then getting pissed in the pub afterward. And then? I go home. Watch the job market. Wait.
*I won’t comment on the fact that someone’s clearly just nicked the five stages of grief and crayoned in the word ‘redundancy’, but oh, I just did.